Just a thought...

Bakit ganon yung majority ng students?? magaaral ng nursing, education, engineering, dito sa pilipinas tapos yung goal pala is dun magtrabaho sa abroad. Ayaw ba nila dito sa pilipinas din magwork,. mababa yung sahod, oo. pero diba nung mga bata pa tayo hanggang sa makatapos tayo ng highschool. Pag tinatanong tayo ng mga nakakatanda saten or kahit sino ng "BAKIT MO GUSTO MAGING NURSE, TEACHER, DOCTOR,o ENGINEER?" ang lagi nating sinasagot "para makatulong sa kapwa". pero Kapwa ano, tao or pilipino?. Kung passion naman talaga ng tao ang pagtuturo, paggagamot o kahit ano pa, hindi naman kelangan isipin yung money involved diba? ewan ko siguro dala lang din yun ng kahirapan dito sa pilipinas. Hindi naten sila masisisi. Kaya lang naisip ko kung ang perception ng majority dito ay ganon. Pano na lang yung future generation. Kung lahat ng magagaling magaabroad. Sino na magtuturo sa kanila. Ano na lang development ng country naten, pag wala na sila.

campus MADness

There is a MTV Concert today at our school, and I thought that the class was cut. The school president said that the class will be cut, but those who will have class after the concert, will not be excused if they didn't attend their respective classes. The concert then starts at almost 5 in the afternoon, I was in our classroom, having a hard time taking my quiz..hehe., I did txt one of my colleague if the concert was already started. And she said that yes, it was. I just waited for the bell to rang, for me to go at the concert to assist, but my glamour professor, didn't like joining such concert. When the bell rang it was 6:30 already I ran to the CSC office for me to help my co officers in assisting the guest, but then, everyone was sitting at one of the tables near the office. I asked them what to do,they said that "wala na, pahinga na kami." One of the officers asked me if i could join the game stuff which will be posted on the tv show. But then after I agree. My cousin(Ate) txted me that she will meet me at the small gate, I asked permission to the girl and our csc pres. that i will just meet my cousin at the smallgate, They all allow me though. At the small gate, my cousin just asked me on what time the concert will last. I just said she'll just meet me perhaps at 8:30pm. After we have talked, my friend asked me, if i could help her at the gym, because she's handling kids like me. hehe.. I ran to the gym for me to help her.when she dismissed the kids, we gone out of the gym, at the bridge. the girl saw us and said "oh, akala ko ba lumabas ka, tapos andito ka" i just said " oo, kanina lumabas ako." and you can see at her face that she doesn't want to believe in what i'm saying.

When I return to our office, everyone is soo busy including the girl, and they were like looking at me, with question that.. why is it that i'm not doing anything. Duh..i'm not assigned to do anything. I asked our adviser yesterday after the meeting, if what i will do at the concert, she'll just said, nothing, you'll just assist the audience. And after the concert, they were like it was a success, though there's a rain. Anyway,they have decided to cut the concert. because of that rain; Everyone got authographs, pictures and stuff from moymoypalboy, and other people in that industry.


>>I'm telling this because i am so disappointed about myself that i wasn't be able to help my co-officers to assist the program, for those reasons. And i'm so ashamed that I got one of the highest position now, and yet I didn't help in today's program. I feel that someone does feel disappointed on me too.

Moon Represents My Heart

I was watching "Devil Beside You" on Youtube. And one of the scene there has the background music of "Moon Represents My Heart". So when i hear it; out of nowhere I sang it also with feelings. haha And when I'm actually awake from my daydream. I just realized I know the song, and it feels that I've sang it somewhere. I just can't remember when, and where. So I keep on thinking and thinking; until one of my chinese friend txt me that day. And then, I figured I sang it during our Mandarin class.

Aww. I miss It. I miss learning Mandarin with Sun Jao shi and Wang Jao Shi. I remember those crazy words which I couldn't understand, those weird English, to which, whenever I ask my Jao shi something that I couldn't understand regarding the lesson I always end up to this words " Ok, nothing Jao Shi. Xiexie; Zaijian";because we couldn't understand each other.hehe, those special quizzes and open notes Exams. Of course I passed. No wonder I had a high grade..hahaha So we had this assignment which turned out to be an oral quiz?! We should Practice this song and sing it the next day. So the next day; Wang Jao Shi sing it first and we sing it individually after. And when I sing it; without knowing its' meaning my classmate say "you sang okay though." I must have a future as a singer, hehehe.Then when everybody was finished JaoShi translated the song, i liked it more. And I asked my friend to send to my phone her copy of that song through bluetooth; but then my phone was lost as well as the song. As days pass by; I forgot everything what's the song? How to sing it? Everything; not until I hear it again; which gives me a li'l flashback.=^_^=

So I want to share the song with you.

I was thinking maybe you want to sing along, Here are the lyrics: Both Hanyu Pinyin and English version. But the video is "Hanyu Pinyin."

Hanyu Pinyin

ni wen wo ai ni you duo shen
wo ai ni you ji fen
wo de qing ye zhen
wo de ai ye zhen
yue liang dai biao wo de xin

ni wen wo ai ni you duo shen
wo ai ni you ji fen
wo de qing bu yi
wo de ai bu bian
yue liang dai biao wo de xin

* qing qing de yi ge wen
yi jin da dong wo de xin
shen shen de yi duan qing
jiao wo si nian dao ru jin

* ni wen wo ai ni you duo shen
wo ai ni you ji fen

* ** ni qu xiang yi xiang
ni qu kan yi kan
yue liang dai biao wo de xin

Repeat *

Repeat **

English Translation

You ask me how deep my love for you is,
How much I really love you…
My affection is real.
My love is real.
The moon represents my heart.

You ask me how deep my love for you is,
How much I really love you…
My affection does not waver,
My love will not change.
The moon represents my heart.

* Just one soft kiss
is enough to move my heart.
A period of time when our affection was deep,
Has made me miss you until now.

* You ask me how deep my love for you is,
How much I really love you.

* ** Go think about it.
Go and have a look [at the moon],
The moon represents my heart.

Repeat *

Repeat **

Is it nice? hehe.. I think It's cute... The moon represents my heart. But I like it most if it is "The star represents my heart because I'm a star..hehehe However I'm really disappointed because I found out that Kim Chiu sang that song. I hate her voice but i like her beauty. I'm in a good mood when i don't hear her voice...hehehehe

CHUckieme

'Looking back on what I said all those years ago, all the hopes and dreams I had, I’ve come to the conclusion that if having things turn out the way you wanted them to is a measure of a successful life, then some would say I’m a failure. The important thing is not to be bitter over life’s disappointments. Learn to let go of the past, and recognize that every day won’t be sunny. And when you find yourself lost in the darkness of despair remember, it’s only in the black of night that you see the stars, and those stars lead you back home. So don’t be afraid to make mistakes, to stumble and fall, because most of the time the greatest rewards come from doing the things that scare you the most. Maybe you’ll get everything you wish for. Maybe you’ll get more than you ever could have imagined. Who knows where life will take you. The road is long and in the end, the journey is the destination.'

"Invictus" (meaning "Invincible"):

Out of the night that covers me,
Black as the Pit from pole to pole,
I thank whatever gods may be
For my unconquerable soul.

In the fell clutch of circumstance
I have not winced nor cried aloud.
Under the bludgeonings of chance
My head is bloody, but unbowed.

Beyond this place of wrath and tears
Looms but the horror of the shade,
And yet the menace of the years
Finds, and shall find me, unafraid.

It matters not how strait the gate,
How charged with punishment the scroll,
I am the master of my fate:
I am the captain of my soul.

–William Ernest Henley

I was watching One tree hill Season 6 Episode 5 and 6 a while ago. And it happens to strike me. Like a needle that has pinned to me little by little. So, out of nowhere my tears fall down. Maybe because; Some of the scenes' there were totally ad undeniably a scene inmy life. Here are some lines that strikes me BIGTIME!!

Lucas Scott: I wish I can take this pain away. I can't. I'm sorry "The hardest part of saying goodbye; is, having to do it again. Every single day;" Every day we face the same truth. That life is bleeding. That our time here is short; And in order to move on. We must live our own lives well.

Anyway, It so happen that I can't find what Brooke had said in the scene so I've decided to just insert a video clip that tells something about what I feel. It is on the "STUCK" part

every year!

Every year, I feel like I am a Freshman

Why? That is because,

Every year, my friends are the graduating ones.

Every year, I have all the "NEW"

New Friends, New Professors, New Clothes and of course New Life

Every year, I need to move forward;

From What? (As you might Ask)

From everything that's happening to my life.

The sudden Experience

The sudden Changes and

The sudden Goodbyes

Its' not easy of course

Its' like you're writing a book

Then, Suddenly, the computer shuts down

And apparently, you don't happen to save it

And you need to do it again!

From Scratch

Its' Like I'm making my own life

Again, From Scratch

At first, I won't know how to start building my life

But as time goes by

I know, I will know how to start Building it

Everything all over again

Now, What I need to do

Is Find the starting point

The start where and why everything

Flows not in a way that I wanted to

And then from there,

I will Change it

I will Change the way I look about it

And when I do Such

I will be formed again,

As a Newly born Individual

Not a Freshman anymore

But as a "FRESH" man

Who will bring

All the "NEW"

In this crazy

And unpredictable

WORLD...

Days to Forget...=,(

New Year came and it was a really great blast for me. It was a year I thought I’d be best of. It was a year wherein happy memories should be remembered. As I looked at it, everyday has been on its place, same routine, same smiles, and sometimes more smiles than usual and same bonding. But, as February came, every expectation that I had in mind, suddenly change, little by little; I don’t know how it started, or maybe I know. I just don’t want to admit it, but it actually happened. And I can’t do anything for it to stop.

February 19, 2009 at around 5:30pm was the beginning of my detrimental days. It was the day where I’ve got the worst of the worst. Why? Because I just got lost my cell phone, my usb, my ccard, my u.n.o pass card, my money and some of my professor’s’ receipts at the library. I was actually preparing for a quiz that day which I thought, will happen the next day.Honestly, I only noticed that my cell phone was lost; when I plan to text my mom, to tell her that I will gone home late, because I’ve a meeting to attend to, and when I am looking for it. It was totally and undeniably not there. I cried of course, for the reason that. I’m cool of losing everything inside it, but losing my usb that was a gift of my best brother ever on my debut, as well as my cell phone which I bought to him was off to be grieve at. It was a treasure that I took good care for a year and then in just a clicked it vanished like a bubbles in the wind. It was one of my prized possessions since then though.

February 20, 2009 I thought I had moved on to what had happened to me a day before this day. But I learned that it’s’ not as easy as I think it is. Of course, day and night, I get the best sermon that I should get from my parents. Every word awakens me, from thinking my lost and not found things. I come to school with a little brevity in my face, but before the day ends, another worst thing happened. I got dizzy, for the fact that, I only ate my lunch; without a snack time after and a dinner. I concealed everything with a happy face, so I can use my energy for good, like being a sort-of-a-tour-guide of students from BJHS (if I’m not mistaken) around the campus. Of course, I had done a great job. Nevertheless, after an immense work, all the pretensions, that I can still do all my work done; also lasted. My dizziness worsens, till I should be stuck at the clinic for almost one hour.I tried to sleep but I feel pain somewhere in my head that akin to a bird destroying a wood using its’ beak. Being a prodigal being, I got out of the room and after vomiting, didn’t return back. Evidently, I go home for a full amount of rest.

“He who does not weep does not see.” Les miserables the miserable one

February 21, 2009was the day, where I feel again the things that I felt during last years’ unexpected exhibit. The peculiar feeling of jealousy and enviousness; I tried to hide it to the people close to me, so they will not get worried on my peculiar feeling. And it actually works. My happy face made them believed that I’m okay, despite the fact that I’m not. As the day started, I thought same things will happen, them, talking to me with delight, but there was a strange thing. They are all busy with their own thing that made me feel so sad. So what I did, I go to the DSA office and stay there for a while. Then, they didn’t still notice me like before. Having that ambiance makes me sober, and made me think unwanted things. I stayed up at the High School Stairs reminiscing things with the same situations, and after a while, I cried. Viewing, why are these things happening? So going back to where I’d gone, still nobody notice that somethings’ wrong. They invited me to have lunch which gives me a grin knowing I was remembered. As we were at the cafeteria, I still feel the tension, the quiet atmosphere. Gladly, my best brother’s’ mother came and asked me of what had happened to me last time (when I lost my cell phone). She gave me an idea of where to go, so I could keep everything inside of me. So while my friends were at the catwalk of the stage, I reasoned that I will just go at the DSA Office to get my bag then I’ll come back after, it is partly true, but I didn’t go there, for a reason. Instead, I did go at my brother’s’ mom’s’ office and stay there for an hour, for me to be relieved. I was expecting that. I, being gone at their side will be a signal for them to look for me, but they didn’t. ‘A’ does txt me, yes, got a grin again. But my point was; ‘A’ is not my closest friend. She is my friend but closest will be soon to follow. Then, she’s the one who looks for me. It’s not like before. That every time I wasn’t there, they will look for me and text me of where am I. Going back at the CSC office, Nobody still notice me, not until I say hi to them, and borrowed a charger. They let me borrow it for a minute though. I had gone to the stage then, because finally I had been noticed. But being there, I still feel different things, so I decided to ran out again, ‘KRR’ arrives though and he was just the only one who ask me of where am I going, and as they tease me, that they will hand me the grasshopper, he’s the only one who asks me to stay with them. ‘AJ’ asked me to join them at their house, I hug her tight as I see her and I said to her that “I will miss her.” Expecting her, to ask me why I’m like that? ‘KS’ came and partially removed pessimistic thoughts in my mind. There, at the cafeteria, I sat down at one of the chairs, asking my companions to sit beside me, but it seems that, they didn’t hear me. So, I just remain quiet still. Therefore, when all of us finally gathered at the table, I just borrowed a PSP and a headphones to my Kuya. Then, I made a joke that I didn’t know how to use the headphones, so they will notice me. In that case, they had help me; as they were talking, I’m just there quiet as I could be, concentrating on playing at ‘KS’s’ PSP. ‘M’, my pink sister, was then asked by ‘KS’ to withdraw the checked so that after they had eaten their food, he can get ‘M’s’ money for U.N.O. So my sister left at the cafeteria, asked me if I will join them, but I did refused; As I called one of ‘KS’s’ friend Ate, who is just a freshmen. He said that, “why are you calling her that? you’re older than her.” I just said “you said I’m the BUNSO.” At that moment, he said “No, you’re not a BUNSO. for us powerhouse, YES you are but…”. After he had said that, all my grief that has been kept for almost a day began to explode, I cried a lot. Knowing I’m not the BUNSO anymore. ‘M’ came back and asked why I am crying, then again, upon telling the reason, I cried again, from it, I think ‘M’ noticed that somethings’ bothering me. She said “I know, something bothers you, I’ll talk to you when you are okay.”

==== Yes, true of a fact ‘M’ was right; all the changes happened during the day bothers me a lot. Okay, I admit I lack attention, so when I get it, I treasured it to the fullest. I really feel so important whenever they give me such. It might be selfish, as you look at it, but for me, It’s’ not. I just want to have one. Moreover, getting one is a really a Big Deal for me. You know my story. They say; I’m emotional and sensitive. And sometimes my doings are misunderstood. Some people might think that, I just do these kinds of eerie things for me to get noticed by them. Not really, as I say. I’m a bubbly person; you can ask anyone who knew me. I’m a brat: I easily get jealous and insecure. But little by little I changed my brat like attitude coz it’s not good. I live by people who come in and out of my life. I sometimes wear a happy mask, so they will be okay too. Sadly, knowing you’re okay, no one might say to you “you’re not okay, I know you, and I can see it in your eyes, you can’t fool me by such a grinning mask.” I miss you guys a lot, I miss

everything that we usually do;

I miss the care that you always

showed me.

What happened to that?

I MISS YOU BIG====

These things remind me of the death of ‘Q’ in One Tree Hill, The voice over said there:

“Quentin Fields was a basketball player. He was also a son. A brother. Somebody’s teammate. And somebody’s friend. I never knew Quentin Fields. And I guess I never will.

GRIEF is like the ocean, it’s deep, and dark and bigger than all of us. And PAIN is like a thief in the night. Quiet. Persistent. Unfair. Diminished by time, and faith and love. I didn’t know Quentin Fields. BUT I’M JEALOUS OF HIM, BECAUSE, I SEE HOW HIS ABSENCE HAS AFFECTED THE PEOPLE WHO DID KNOW HIM. SO I KNOW HE MATTERED TO THEM. AND I KNOW HE WAS LOVED.”